#either do something new or do something people actually want

[blueraith]

You wanna know why I don't care about the tiktok ban? It's because so many of you are going to like and reblog this post, patting yourselves on the back for demanding that everyone else care about your own special interest, all the while going right back to tiktok without changing even a LICK of your own habits and behaviors

How many of you have made a Lemmy account as backup? Because tiktok is still in danger, Congress hasn't changed and Trump is not a king. Yet. How many of you joined any federated site? BBulletin forums? Found a VPN? Coordinated on alternative sites to group up along marginalized groups and movements?

I'd bet real money hardly any of you have done any of this. There are millions of people online today who have no idea how to navigate the internet unless it's through social media or aggregation sites. And you're not gonna research how to do so either.

You're not gonna vote. Not in the critically important midterms in two years that may just stem the bleeding that will come from this administration. And you're CERTAINLY not going to vote in the primaries to insert politicians you actually LIKE in the Democratic party.

Nope, you're going to ignore the frankly wild and undeniable success the far-right has had over the past 15-20 years in co-opting the Republican party by VOTING IN THE PRIMARIES because the far-left is utterly useless at working together and creating a movement in real world spaces.

Nope, you'll make useless posts on social media demanding that everyone else care about what you care about all the while hoping that someone else will vote correctly for you. Someone else will create a new online space for you. Someone else will start and fight in the revolution some of you desperately want.

If the government wants tiktok gone it will be. The time to change that was perhaps several election cycles ago at worst and probably the 2024 election so many sat out of at best. Granted, that best is a long shot, this ban has been in talks for years.

But you have no stated plan on HOW we should care about this. What do you want us to do about this specifically? There are never any tangible calls to action on these posts. Never any recommendations. Never any calls to group up with a movement being started to change anything.

These are only ever posts from keyboard warriors trying to act morally superior to other people without anything real to show for it.

That's why I don't care and why y'all are a LOOOOOONG way off from making me care.

It's insufferable and obnoxious. You want people to care? Do something that matters besides posting about it online.

“I’m not on tiktok anyway so this does not affect me” no???? it’s not just about tiktok or whether or not you like the app??? it’s about them being able to censor and control what they want and what they don’t want people to see. it’s about them being able to keep people uneducated for the sake of their personal gain and benefits.

(it’s also about small businesses who relied on tiktok to gain customers / income.)

that being said, if the only thing you care about is the platforms you’re on, sorry to break it to you, but if they can ban tiktok, they can go after any other platforms too.

they can go after tumblr, archive of our own, instagram, youtube, facebook, etc, you name it.

it actually does affect you.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Sigal Samuel at Vox:

There’s a dominant narrative in the media about why tech billionaires are sucking up to Donald Trump: Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos, all of whom have descended on the nation’s capital for the presidential inauguration, either happily support or have largely acquiesced to Trump because they think he’ll offer lower taxes and friendlier regulations. In other words, it’s just about protecting their own selfish business interests. That narrative is not exactly wrong — Trump has in fact promised massive tax cuts for billionaires — but it leaves out the deeper, darker forces at work here. For the tech bros — or as some say, the broligarchs — this is about much more than just maintaining and growing their riches. It’s about ideology. An ideology inspired by science fiction and fantasy. An ideology that says they are supermen, and supermen should not be subject to rules, because they’re doing something incredibly important: remaking the world in their image. It’s this ideology that makes MAGA a godsend for the broligarchs, who include Musk, Zuck, and Bezos as well as the venture capitalists Peter Thiel and Marc Andreessen. That’s because MAGA is all about granting unchecked power to the powerful. “It’s a sense of complete impunity — including impunity to the laws of nature,” Brooke Harrington, a professor of economic sociology at Dartmouth College who studies the behavior of the ultra-rich, told me. “They reject constraint in all of its forms.” As Harrington has noted, Trump is the perfect avatar for that worldview. He’s a man who incited an attempted coup, who got convicted on 34 felony counts and still won reelection, who notoriously said in reference to sexual assault, “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” So, what is the “anything” that the broligarchs want to do? To understand their vision, we need to realize that their philosophy goes well beyond simple libertarianism. It’s not just that they want a government that won’t tread on them. They want absolutely zero limits on their power. Not those dictated by democratic governments, by financial systems, or by facts. Not even those dictated by death.

The broligarchs’ vision: Science fiction, transhumanism, and immortality

The broligarchs are not a monolith — their politics differ somewhat, and they’ve sometimes been at odds with each other. Remember when Zuck and Musk said they were going to fight each other in a cage match? But here’s something the broligarchs have in common: a passionate love for science fiction and fantasy that has shaped their vision for the future of humanity — and their own roles as its would-be saviors. Zuckerberg’s quest to build the Metaverse, a virtual reality so immersive and compelling that people would want to strap on bulky goggles to interact with each other, is seemingly inspired by the sci-fi author Neal Stephenson. It was actually Stephenson who coined the term “metaverse” in his novel Snow Crash, where characters spend a lot of time interacting in a virtual world of that name. Zuckerberg seems not to have noticed that the book is depicting a dystopia; instead of viewing it as a warning, he’s viewing it as an instruction manual.

Jeff Bezos is inspired by Star Trek, which led him to found a commercial spaceflight venture called Blue Origin, and The High Frontier by physics professor Gerard K. O’Neill, which informs his plan for space colonization (it involves millions of people living in cylindrical tubes). Bezos attended O’Neill’s seminars as an undergraduate at Princeton. Musk, who wants to colonize Mars to “save” humanity from a dying planet, is inspired by one of the masters of American sci-fi, Isaac Asimov. In his Foundation series, Asimov wrote about a hero who must prevent humanity from being thrown into a long dark age after a massive galactic empire collapses. “The lesson I drew from that is you should try to take the set of actions that are likely to prolong civilization, minimize the probability of a dark age and reduce the length of a dark age if there is one,” Musk said. And Andreessen, an early web browser developer who now pushes for aggressive progress in AI with very little regulation, is inspired by superhero stories, writing in his 2023 “Techno-Optimist Manifesto” that we should become “technological supermen” whose “Hero’s Journey” involves “conquering dragons, and bringing home the spoils for our community.” All of these men see themselves as the heroes or protagonists in their own sci-fi saga. And a key part of being a “technological superman” — or übermensch, as the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche would say — is that you’re above the law. Common-sense morality doesn’t apply to you because you’re a superior being on a superior mission. Thiel, it should be noted, is a big Nietzsche fan, though his is an extremely selective reading of the philosopher’s work.

[...]

The broligarchs — because they are in 21st-century Silicon Valley and not 19th-century Germany — have updated and melded this idea with transhumanism, the idea that we can and should use technology to alter human biology and proactively evolve our species.

Transhumanism spread in the mid-1900s thanks to its main popularizer, Julian Huxley, an evolutionary biologist and president of the British Eugenics Society. Huxley influenced the contemporary futurist Ray Kurzweil, who predicted that we’re approaching a time when human intelligence can merge with machine intelligence, becoming unbelievably powerful. “The human species, along with the computational technology it created, will be able to solve age-old problems … and will be in a position to change the nature of mortality in a postbiological future,” Kurzweil wrote in 1999. Kurzweil, in turn, has influenced Silicon Valley heavyweights like Musk, whose company Neuralink explicitly aims at merging human and machine intelligence. For many transhumanists, part of what it means to transcend our human condition is transcending death. And so you find that the broligarchs are very interested in longevity research. Zuckerberg, Bezos, and Thiel have all reportedly invested in startups that are trying to make it possible to live forever. That makes perfect sense when you consider that death currently imposes a limit on us all, and the goal of the broligarchs is to have zero limits.

Vox has an insightful article on the disastrous vision that broligarchs like Elon Musk, Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel, and Mark Zuckerberg subscribe to.

[sexhaver]

if your reaction to Musk pushing for more H1B visas is "wow the hitler salute guy accidentally did something good, this will be good for immigrants who get these visas" and not "hm, the richest guy on earth wants to expand a program that lets companies like his (and also literally his company in particular) hire immigrants in a way that gives the companies all the leverage and effectively stops those workers from exercising any of their labor rights (or even just switching to a better job) under threat of deportation, and he's also part of a White House that has been super vocally anti-immigration. perhaps there is some ulterior motive to this announcement and his proposed changes to the program that will result in these H1B immigrants getting taken advantage of" then you need to, idk, read the news more? stop taking fascists at face value? think about why fascists would support immigration specifically in the labor sector while physically blocking it everywhere else?

my issue with Musk proposing an expansion of the H1B program has not, and has never been, "competition" from immigrants. this job market is already horrendous, H1Bs are a drop in the bucket in that regard and anyone seriously mad that an immigrant "stole their job" is either racist or falling for racist propaganda. my issue is the opposite: if i and an H1B holder both get hired for the exact same job, they will be making a fraction of my salary (because of their immigrant status) with none of the protections against labor violations or even the ability to just walk away and work somewhere else (again, because of their immigrant status). they're doing the same work as me (better, actually, to qualify for a green card) and yet they're getting paid less and treated worse because they're an immigrant.

and in theory you can counter this with "okay but it's worth it for them to put up with that because after a few years they'll be a citizen and able to make the big bucks with labor protections too", but here's the thing: a fascist White House talking out one side of their mouth about issuing more H1Bs and making them cheaper, while simultaneously ranting about "closing the border" and sending Fox News teams out on ICE raids the day after inauguration, is not a White House that has any intention of letting these visa holders become citizens. big companies are overwhelmingly going to use these new H1Bs as a way to hire people, string them along for a while while underpaying and overworking them, and then find some reason to not give them a green card at the end of the process. formerly the incentive for companies not to do that was all the overhead fees associated with the H1B itself, but oh look, Musk wants to reduce those too.

like, yeah, i get it, the process of becoming a US citizen is a nightmare designed to be hostile and let in as few people as possible. the solution to that is absolutely not to let ELON FUCKING MUSK, the RICHEST MAN ON EARTH, rework + expand H1Bs. do you really trust him to handle that in a way that results in anyone but him and his friends winning. do you expect the average H1B holder experience to end in citizenship under Trump's administration. do you really.

[herbertten]

therapuss!

summary: justin agrees to be on his girlfriend’s best friend’s podcast

word count: 1.1k

When Jake suggested having Justin on his podcast Therapuss, Y/N honestly thought her boyfriend would politely decline. To her surprise, he was all for it. She’d always thought they had a cute older brother-younger brother dynamic, and she couldn’t wait for the world to see a new side of him.

But when the time came to film the episode, Justin was a bundle of nerves, frantically searching for the right outfit. He didn’t want to be overdressed, but definitely didn’t want to show up looking underdressed either. Y/N couldn’t help but smile as he ran in and out of his closet, holding up different options every few minutes. She’d tell him he looked fine in whatever he was wearing, but Justin was never satisfied, always finding something wrong.

After about twenty minutes of this, he threw in the towel and begged Y/N to choose for him. She giggled, planted a quick kiss on his lips, and headed to the closet. She picked out a dark green Nike sweatshirt, khaki shorts, and a black Nike hat.

“This was one of the first things I tried on,” Justin said, grabbing the outfit from her.

“It looked fine—just like half the stuff you tried on,” she said, flopping back on the bed. Justin plopped down beside her, looking like he was about to explode with nerves. He started talking about how anxious he was for the podcast. He knew Jake wouldn’t ask anything invasive, but he still worried he might say or do something that would rub people the wrong way.

Y/N reassured him that he had nothing to worry about—it was just a conversation, like any other. He smiled and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before putting on the outfit she had picked out for him.

“Hi Pussies, and welcome back to Therapuss! Today, I’m so excited to have the only NFL player I know, Los Angeles Chargers quarterback Justin Herbert!” Jake introduced as everyone in the studio clapped. Justin waved at the camera with his signature dorky smile. “Okay, Justin, before we get to know you, I wanna know—what are you therapissed about today?”

“Therapissed?” Justin repeated, trying to think of something that had frustrated him. “I’ve got one. It takes a lot to upset me, but my biggest pet peeve is when people leave their shopping carts anywhere but the cart return. Y/N and I went to the store today, and the parking lot was packed. We thought we’d found the perfect spot, but as I pulled into it—boom!—there’s a cart right in the way.” Jake giggled as Justin continued. “The worst part? The cart return was right across from the spot.”

Jake nodded, chuckling. “I think I’ve only seen you truly upset once, and I’ve known you for about a year.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty chill, but when it comes to my family, I can lose it. Like, commentators can say whatever they want about me—I really don’t care. The NFL is tough, and it’s not easy. But when Y/N and I started dating, it felt like everyone’s focus was on her, and it was just frustrating.”

Jake smirked. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that. You’ve got this ‘I’m just a chill guy’ vibe, so it’s funny to see you get those little bursts of frustration—especially in games or in the media. Like, remember that game in Vegas this year? Y/N brought me, and we were sitting above the field, and I still heard you shout, ‘What are you waiting for?’ That was scary.”

“Yeah, well, that’s football for you,” Justin shrugged, trying to act casual. “I’m nothing like that off the field.”

The conversation flowed easily from there. Jake asked about Justin’s growing up in Eugene, his time at the University of Oregon, and how he’d probably have been a doctor if football hadn’t worked out. Y/N was excited to see her boyfriend open up, especially with the cameras rolling.

“I remember how obsessive Y/N was about you when you first started dating,” Jake laughed, glancing at Y/N, who buried her face in her hands. “When you became a TCL partner, she’d see those TV boxes everywhere, and it was her mission to take a picture with every single one.”

“I’m so lucky to have her,” Justin said, grinning.

“Okay, I’m gonna throw up,” Jake joked, putting his hand over his heart.

“Every time I look at her, I just wonder how every person who’s had the chance to meet her hasn’t fallen for her, even just a little bit.”

Justin smiled at Y/N, who returned his look. She knew how much he loved her. He showed it in every way he could, but it never stopped making her heart skip a beat.

“You two are the worst,” Jake sighed, shaking his head. “I genuinely hate you two so much.”

“Jake, we’ve had this conversation before,” Justin teased. “I’m totally ready to put you on one of those dating shows. Love Island would be perfect for you.”

The podcast wrapped up about 20 minutes later, and Jake and Justin filmed a few promotional videos and took some photos for social media before everyone headed out for lunch. The vibe was light and easy—lunch was more like a hangout than anything else. The podcast crew was small, and they were all good friends of Y/N and Jake, so it felt more like a family gathering than a work event.

Once it was time to go home, Y/N and Justin dropped Jake off at his place. The entire drive there, the trio sang along to their favorite songs,as if they were on an episode of Carpool Karaoke.

“Thanks so much, Mom and Dad!” Jake teased as he got out of the car. He gave Justin their signature handshake, the one that Y/N still had no idea when or how they’d come up with it, but she loved every time they did it. “Justin, thanks for coming on the pod. I can’t wait for it to come out!”

Y/N laughed, watching them. “You two are ridiculous.”

Jake turned to her with a grin. “And thank you for letting me ‘borrow your boyfriend’ for an hour,” he said, throwing her a wink.

“Anytime,” she replied with a teasing smile.

Once Jake was out of the car and waving goodbye, Y/N and Justin headed home. The whole way, Y/N couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. “Thanks for doing that,” she said, glancing over at Justin.

“Of course. I’d take any chance to talk about you for an hour,” he replied with a grin, his fingers intertwining with hers as he kissed the back of her hand. She squeezed his hand, smiling even more. “You’re such a dork”

“I mean it,” Justin said, his tone sincere. “You’re my favorite topic.”

Y/N's heart fluttered, and she leaned her head on his shoulder as they drove, feeling completely at peace

[flawssy-227]

Fogwell’s pt.1 Matt murdock x f!reader

pairing: College!matt murdock x fem!reader

a/n: this is a repost from almost THREE years ago on my old blog! since the new daredevil is coming out soon... maybe I'll revisit my favorite hell's kitchen baby boy.

I will always do my best to leave the reader description as vague as possible (albeit female, but I am a woc, so will also always have woc in mind in my writing)

WC: 1.3k

Warnings: mention of beer, language

You remembered the first time you met him.

It was a Sunday at Fogwell’s, the gym was closed except for a private training session you had held earlier, some women from a hair salon in Hell’s Kitchen wanting to learn self defense.

You heard the little bell chime above the front door that signaled someone was coming in.

“We’re closed,” you called out without turning around. You were preoccupied with taking off your hand wraps as you heard him tentatively tap his way into the gym.

“Oh, sorry,” he started. “I was hoping I could speak with the owner.”

“You’re lookin’ at her,” you stated definitively. You took in his appearance, tall, somewhat built, a slight blush crossing his cheeks, and stubble you almost wanted to reach out and run your fingers across. He was cute you thought, as you tried searching his eyes before realizing they were pointed downward, a walking stick clutched tightly in his hands. “What can I help you with?”

“You don’t sound like the owner of a boxing gym in the middle of Hell’s Kitchen,” the man cocked his head to the side with a small smirk.

You scoffed a bit. “It’s my uncle’s gym, but he is on an extended vacation in Florida. Till he comes back, if he comes back, I’m the owner-operator,” you stated matter of factly. “You gonna question me or tell me what you want?” you said as you finished unwinding your hand wraps.

His small smirk extended into a full grin as he took a step closer to you and extended his hand for you to shake. “I’m Matt. I uh, I wanted to see if I could train here?”

You shook his hand, large and warm in yours. “Yeah, sure. We have open gym from 11-4, Monday through Saturday, kickboxing classes during the week at 5, boxing after that…” you trailed off. “What are you looking for?”

“Something more… private, actually.”

Now it was your turn to cock your head questioningly. As if he could feel it, he started speaking again.

“Even though I’m blind, I can feel people watching me. I know they’re wondering what someone like me is doing at a boxing gym, but I don’t need the judgement or little comments they make that they think I can’t hear. Plus my dad used to box here, way back in the day. I just want to be able to train in peace, privately. After hours?” he explained.

“After hours?” 

“Just a couple of days a week. I’ll stay out of your way. I promise.”

There was sincerity in his voice as you weighed your options. He seemed perfectly nice, innocent even. You usually stayed late in the gym most nights anyway, either looking over Fogwell’s books or training by yourself. Matt training after hours wouldn’t really impact you either way, plus, if you were being honest, you could use all the extra help financially.

“I’ll tell you what, you can stay today. I’ll be in the office, working on some things. Use the gym, do whatever you want, and I’ll make a decision after. Does that sound fair?”

Matt nodded his head, still clutching his walking stick. “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

“No worries, Matt.” You began walking your way back to your office before turning around again. “You’re a Murdock, right?”

Matt was in the middle of unzipping his jacket when he turned to look back at you quizzically. 

“You said your dad trained here. It was Jack, right? Jack Murdock?”

He slowly nodded back at you. 

You walked backward to your office, taking in the man in front of you. “Nice to meet you, Murdock.”

That was about 5 weeks ago, and Matt had been making regular appearances in your gym ever since. He would show up after hours a few times during the week and on weekends, sometimes giving you a call and begging, pleading you to come back and unlock the gym for him. You always would, knowing he would slip you a few extra dollars or bring you a 6-pack of beer to show his gratitude. You knew it wasn’t the only reason you would go out of your way to let Matt into Fogwell’s, but he didn’t have to know that.

You had a quickly developing crush on him. He was sweet, kind, and smart. Not hard to look at, either. He would flirt with you sometimes too, you were sure of it. Complimenting your perfume, praising your generosity. Sometimes you felt like he could read your mind, calling out your name or coming into the office every time you would daydream about him. You would always ask him to stay later when he brought you beer, too. Sometimes he would, and you two would spend an extra hour sitting around and talking about life. You really began to look forward to his calls, feeling a little lonely if you didn’t hear from him for a couple of days. 

There were other reasons you wanted to see him, too. He would do things, when he thought you weren’t paying attention. Things that made you question how much his disability really affected him. So, when he gave you a call at 9 PM on a Saturday, begging, no, pleading you to open up the gym for him, you immediately said yes.

He was waiting for you at the front door, body perking up as he heard you approaching.

“You got here fast,” he said.

“Murdock, you know I live upstairs.”

“I know, I know. I’m just surprised you didn’t have plans. It is Saturday, after all.”

You scoffed as you held the door open for him. “Here to make me feel bad or to train?”

He laughed as he made himself comfortable in the gym. He took off his hoodie and you made a sharp inhale at his toned stomach. Was it just you, or was he getting ripped?

“Can I ask you a question?” you asked, walking toward the ring in the center of the gym.

“Sure,” he said, rolling his neck and shaking out his muscles.

“You ever think about getting in the ring?” You hopped up onto the platform and lowered the middle rope to climb in.

Matt looked at you, a smile tugging on his lips. “Can’t say that I have. Might not be easy for me to see who I’m fighting, on account of the no seeing thing.”

“Humor me,” you said, trying to take a slow deep breath as the shirtless man made his way toward you.

Matt walked to the ring, reaching his hand out to feel for the platform before climbing into it himself.

You slowly walked around the ring while Matt stayed close to the ropes, trying to decide the best way to approach your theory.

“I’ve been watching you these past few weeks,” you started, centering yourself directly across from him.

His eyebrows quirked up at your confession. “Oh?”

You nodded your head. “You’d probably be a tough opponent. Natural ability, a lot of fight in you.”

Matt’s smile grew bigger, his chest puffing out slightly at your compliment. He was clearly about to make some clever, flirty remark back at you, as he always did, but you took advantage of his distracted state and slid your keys out of your pocket, throwing them straight at his head.

You watched as his brows furrowed, only slightly, his head popping straight up. You don’t know it, but Matt feels the breeze shift in the gym when your arm quickly moves to throw the keys, he smells your deodorant, the fragrance being released because of the little bits of friction caused by your movement, and he tastes the metallic of the keys as they fly through the air.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting. You had a feeling, but you were still surprised to see Matt clutching your keys directly in front of his eyes. He looks at you, eyes pointed slightly downward, a devilish smirk plastered on his face, knowing you caught him.

“I fucking knew it!”

would you guys like more Matt? I have a very very old angsty wip that I'm tempted to finish if anybody is interested!

[merriepy]

DATING ACHERON!

•. Acheron x gn! Reader

tags: headcanon, fluff (+ small angst)

cw: /

summary: A few headcanons about what your relationship with Acheron would look like!

a/n: I'm currently experimenting with new layouts/formats so please don't mind the new look! No third person pronouns used for the reader

•. Acheron, an introverted and forgetful Galaxy Ranger who walks the cosmos on the path of Nihility. As her track intertwined with yours, she developed feelings long forgotten and buried - together with her distant memories of home.

•. Dating someone like Acheron would be quite an interesting experience. She's not your average romantic lover who showers you with kisses, but rather with hugs and gifts! Since she travels the cosmos a lot she knows that seeing you might be hard, since some destinations are too dangerous for you, or maybe you're not as nomadic and her and want to stay in one place. Acheron would 100% bring you little souvenirs that always align with your taste - whether it's new clothes that are rising in popularity on the planet she was just at or a little plushie of the regional animals. As for touches, I think she's someone who's just really casual about pda as in always holding your arm or waist, or leaning against you when she's exhausted. She loves to do that, her chin either resting on your shoulder or head depending on your height.

•. And of course, since she likes to spoil you, you'd do the same!! You'd always make sure to have peaches at home since it's her favourite food. When Acheron is actually home or you two get to rest during your travels, you'd always make sure to prepare peaches for her alongside breakfast to make her happy!

•. In return, Acheron would totally remember your favourite food and where to get the right ingredients for it. She even tried very hard to remember the way to your favourite takeout place, though she still gets lost from time to time. The embarrassment in her voice when she calls you, asking for you to pick her up and admitting that she wanted to treat you to a nice meal but doesn't know the way back home always makes you chuckle.

•. Acheron thinks a lot about your first meeting. She knows how she seems to others: cold, distant, maybe even dangerous. But you approached her, and gave her a chance. She would've never guessed you that two would become more than friends, and neither did you. But even after your first meeting where you two exchanged numbers you kept checking up on her, asking how she was doing, and offered so many times to be there for her if she needed someone to talk to. Of course, Acheron's struggles are far greater than that of average people and she was never completely honest with you about her backstory. She still isn't honest but how are you supposed to bring up something like her story? She just hopes you'll never hold it against her if you do figure it out eventually.

•. One thing she did tell you though was her actual name. You never wondered about it, if Acheron was her actual name or just a coverup. Even after she told you about it you felt weird to not call her Acheron anymore but rather Mei. You got around to it eventually and kept giving her nicknames like Mei-Mei, something she reacted very casually to.

•. I think domestic life with Acheron is chaotic. She isn't used to settling down anymore, not even for a short time. She'd also lose her belongings everywhere in the house because she forgot where she had put them. Cooking isn't one of her strengths as well but she's very willing to learn and she's actually able to become a great cook with enough practice!

•. She's really encouraging and always makes sure to tell you about how great you're doing and that she's proud of you. I think your relationship includes a lot of encouraging and praising from both sides (as it should be!).

•. Something you like to do that Acheron isn't aware of is to keep track of her make-up. She always carries it with her which sometimes leads to the makeup being damaged, so you like to replace or fix it, depending on the damage. She isn't aware that you're the one who replaces it: she thinks she did it herself but forgot.

•. Nights with her are beautiful, though not easy. She likes to get lost in your touch as the soft starlight illuminates the room, but her dreams are usually filled with terror - dreams of those who succumbed to her blade and of those who she couldn't save. Being with you doesn't get rid of the nightmares, as much as she would like to, but the comfort you give her is enough to calm down after the night has felt especially long.

•.Acheron, an introverted and forgetful Galaxy Ranger who walks the cosmos on the path of Nihility. As her track intertwined with yours, she developed feelings long forgotten and buried - together with her distant memories of home. But when she's with you, her heart feels lighter, the pain easier, and maybe - soon - she'll be able to heal under your grace before going on her last journey.•

[certifiedsexed]

Hi, I hope I'm not bothering you but I wasn't sure where else to ask

I have been questioning my sexuality for a long time and I think I only like women (I am also a woman). However I have never really been a 'part' of the queer community on or offline and I am reluctant to call myself a lesbian as it makes me feel like some sort of weird imposter. I love all queer people and have many lesbian friends but I just never feel like I fit in with other queer people and I don't really know what to do. I know there's no reason to but I just feel intimidated and I don't want to take up space in a community that's not for me

Apologies for bad english, I am very nervous as this is more information than I have told anyone I know in real life

Hello! It's no bother, thank you for trusting me to answer!

Here's the thing, Anon: lots and lots of queer/LGBTQ+ people have imposter syndrome, which is what you're describing. They feel like they don't belong, they feel like they aren't actually queer (even when they blatantly are), they feel like they don't deserve to take up space.

It's a common thing to struggle with and it doesn't mean you don't belong or that the community isn't for you. It just means this is something new and you're anxious.

You don't have to be an open "part" of the queer community in any sense in order to call yourself a lesbian. You also don't have to feel like you "fit in" with other queer people. There aren't requirements like that.

There's infinite space in the queer community, Anon, you cannot "take up" space. You have either been here for awhile (without realizing) and/or you're joining us now.

It's okay to feel intimidated and like you don't fit in. Plenty of us feel like that. Its very common. But it doesn't mean you don't belong or can't use the identity lesbian. Even if you don't identify as queer or participate in any LGBTQ+ specific, you can still call yourself a lesbian.

I don't know if this is helpful but let me know if you have any other questions, Anon. <3

[nvr-pass]

uugh can we stop trying to squeeze everything in a dichotomy already? (condolences to op, this is more @ the additions)

yes, there is a trend in media that is concerningly similiar to targeted advertising. media is treated more and more like a product(/"content") and less like art, and that sucks!

okay. that's no reason to act like "thinking about what you audience will think" is in and of itself the enemy of art. miyazaki's approach is cool and should be respected but there are many many other way to make art. you can make art that directly adresses the audience or plays with the audience's expectation, maybe using it to mislead or directly opposing it to create a certain effect. the concept of symbolism kind of relies of the audience bringing their own associations into the piece. meticulously planning when what information is revealed to build tension is technically "caring what the audience will think"! and it's basically the foundation of readymade sculptures! putting a urinal in an art gallery is not marketable, it pissed people off. duchamp's fountain is an influential piece that inspired unending discussion about the nature of art and if you take audience reception out of the equation your missing the point of the piece entirely. adjusting your piece to get a message across or piss certain people off does not necessarily mean you care about its marketability.

this is all in line with empowering artist who want to whatever the fuck want, whether that includes incorpating audience reception or not! both approaches need people engaging with new and unfamiliar art pieces on their own terms!! yes!! herein lies the call for audiences to be conscious of their own approach to media, which i also agree with. if you're whining about stuff not being tailor made for your comfort, you need to examine if you approach media as art or as content. stop consuming and start connecting with something.

the enemy is marketing. (again, correctly identified but unnecessarily associated with "caring about the audience"). authors are usually not in charge of marketing. this push is coming from the production companies, who care about what the audience will think because it affects profits. this struggle between creators and producers in the media industry has been going on for literal decades. (alex hirsch posting the ridiculous production notes disney gave him about what jokes were "appropriate" were everywhere at some point.) most authors very much would do whatever they want without worring about marketability, but unless they are as successful as miyazaki and can found their own production company, they have to put up with their producer pushing changes in the interest of profit. if anything, recent trends indicate that we're losing that fight, because huge companies have all the money and artists need to make rent.

there are of course creators who do this on their own, in which case they are kind of both the producer and the creator and are fighting against themself. usually it's either to suck up to the system by self-censoring before they can be censored or it's small creators who do actually have to do their own marketing. especially if your relying on social media and get numbers thrown at you all the time, it can be hard not to slip into the producer mindset. but if you're working on a passion project: please dont try to win capitalism at the same time. let the creator win.

you can't always tell who's a gleefull capitalist and who is just trying to make rent but on a societal scale it sucks to see this development. and it sucks that we let capitalism do this to our art.

tldr; kill the producer in your brain that tells you to be marketable! but also ... telling artists to be themselves will not make capitalism disappear from the industry.

fuck an "intended audience" how about we normalize engaging with new and unfamiliar art pieces on their own terms

[xemily-similex]

Does anyone else think that the craft minigame in Help Wanted 2 is like a test to see if Sun can function properly with the public, post Moon being infected by the virus?

Hear me out here:

So, most of the mini games have something to do with “employee tasks”. Examples being the carousel, Freddy and the cake, dressing the STAFF bots, getting Roxy ready and putting her makeup on, all the food service bits.

There are a few that don’t, but since “we” (the playable character) are employed, let’s say these are just part of what we were hired for. Checks to make sure things are functioning properly. DJ, he’s a big fella and if he was outwardly virusing, that could result in a lot of lawsuits and child murder. While the last part is the goal for some unknown reason at the Plex, that would draw too much attention.

You are sent to go through his routine and make sure he’s functioning. The same goes for the rides and actual games, though, maybe that’s leisure for you. You work hard, now you have a break and you want to spend it in Foxy’s Pirate Boat Ride or Bonnie Bowling.

Back to my point, Sun.

He does all of the bells and whistles, very highly functional and anxiously says his lines (and since we aren’t a child, and Fazco staff) and adds in sass here and there, because we’re adults and we can take it. He hands us craft supplies and takes our darts and stupidity for the most part.

What if it’s just a test to see if he can function around people, pre-SB. They know he and Moon have a virus, they know they’ve been a little child murdery lately. But what if they just decided to keep the lights on, other than the charging cycle, and see how that goes??? Sun is decidedly a little more unhinged at the notion of the lights staying on in HW2. Muttering to himself, panicking, all together having more lines when the lights go out, or are about to.

If this was in the older, fresh virus days, and that was a new idea he wasn’t used to at the time, I am sure he would be urgent about the lights, which he is and trying to function just fine through it without either killing anyone or bringing out Moon.

Just thoughts

[ploppythespaceship]

So to absolutely no one's surprise, the new Section 31 movie is quite bad. Critics are tearing it to pieces, and rightfully so. As IGN said, "Section 31 will infuriate Star Trek fans and bore everyone else." And... yeah, that's about right. I don't know if it's the worst Trek movie ever made, but it's certainly in one of the bottom slots.

This post has no major spoilers, but I am putting it under a cut because it turned into a long rant.

The core problem here is the cast. It's an ensemble piece consisting of characters ranging from mildly boring to actively irritating. There's no depth or interesting dynamics at play here. Just a bunch of characters trying to be zany and edgy.

Which brings me to the next issue -- the tone. Basically, this movie wants to be James Gunn's Suicide Squad, but it doesn't understand the careful balance needed to pull that off. It wants to be the edgy, gritty Star Trek movie where people get to murder and be bad, while also having wacky side characters that get to joke around. The result is that half the cast feels like it's in a gritty drama, and the other half feels like it's in a bad comedy.

To emphasize how bad this issue is -- the very last line of the movie is a yo mama joke. No, I am not kidding.

The pacing is pretty bad. You can tell that this was conceived as a miniseries before being cut down to a 90 minute film. The whole thing feels choppy and uneven. They spend too long in some sections and then not long enough in others. At one point halfway through, I literally said out loud, "Oh that's where episode one would have ended," because you could practically feel the entire film switch gears.

We also don't see enough of Georgiou and San's relationship, which the climax sort of hinges on. All we get are flashbacks of them pressing foreheads together in a backlit room, saying that they're one.

This either needed to be stretched back out to a full miniseries -- which probably still would have been pretty bad -- or it needed to be drastically reworked to better suit its runtime.

The style is also absolutely all over the place. It's trying to emulate something like Suicide Squad or Guardians of the Galaxy, but with a laughable incompetence. The first scene left me gaping in awe of how terrible the editing was. There are so many badly placed cross-fades, extended establishing shots, weird almost-music-sequences that aren't willing to commit... then other scenes will just be filmed normally. If they wanted this film to have its own distinct style, they needed to fully commit to it, and make that part of the story's core identity. This just feels like they tacked things on without fully understanding how to actually utilize them.

And the QUICK ZOOMS. This might be a weird thing to fixate on, but I genuinely felt like I was losing my mind. This movie would not stop doing quick zooms, on everything, for every scene. You'll be watching two characters exchange quiet, calm dialogue, and the camera just keeps cranking in closer to their faces. It's just another stylistic choice that they're doing without any real understanding of why.

Perhaps most irritatingly, this movie fundamentally misunderstands the concept of Section 31. First, they just don't get the most basic premise of the organization they based their entire movie on. A Starfleet officer is an official part of their team, expressly there to serve as their Federation oversight. Excuse me?? Did you watch a SINGLE previous Section 31 episode?? The entire point of this group is that they exist beyond official oversight.

But even worse, I'm not sure these writers understand that Section 31 are the bad guys. One of Georgiou's lines is, "Section 31 is just the place for officers who bend the rules, never quite break them, until they do." The final scene has Garrett fondly calling Georgiou a "bad bitch." And the team doesn't really do anything all that morally questionable -- they all just crack terrible edgy jokes the whole time. In this movie, Section 31 genuinely is just Starfleet but edgy, and it pisses me the hell off.

Genuinely, the utter misunderstanding of Section 31 is one of my least favorite things about modern Trek. I really hope this movie's reception will convince them to just shelve the group entirely for a while.

I do think a decent version of this movie could have existed. Cut the entire side cast to have a tighter focus on a trio of Georgiou, Alok, and Garrett. Georgiou and Alok have a similar enough backstory that they could develop a really interesting dynamic with more screentime. And Garrett can be there as the Starfleet officer who stumbled into the situation against her will, and tries to maintain her moral compass while also recognizing that drastic action is needed to defend the Federation.

Then you could actually explore the meaningful differences in morality between these characters. Touch on the core themes of what Section 31 was originally meant to be. Do the ends justify the means? At what point have you gone too far? And with Georgiou specifically -- is it even possible for someone like to her to seek redemption? Can she truly earn it?

Instead, we get a bland movie that isn't interested in exploring any deeper meanings. It just wants to be an edgy Star Trek version of Suicide Squad. And that's a damn shame.

[theambitiouswoman]

I am someone with a desire to socialize/build relationships/network who has always had to deal with unprovoked envy, hidden animosity, general unprovoked mistreatment which has therefore made me withdraw and suppress a lot of my skills. I’ve experienced these things in social interactions and even interpersonal and familial relationships. while I can be self-assured, assertive and confident, I have a history of people-pleasing and I notice that this makes me more susceptible to the things I mentioned above. I have reflected on this and determined that most people have been intimidated by me/my talents but that the manner in which I go out of my way to appease people or just be graceful, kind, and soft-hearted in general or makes them feel comfortable enough to project that intimidation by disrespecting and attempting to belittle me.

I have dealt with people’s responses to me by embodying my masculine energy in order to self-protect (lots of anger). Do you have any advice or ideas for a consistent routine to help me truly begin assert boundaries, prioritize myself and not allow others to take me out of my true element (powerful, creative, self-confident) while also still dealing with said people? I have tried in the past but particularly in interpersonal relationship I fail, due to the way I carry extreme guilt for prioritizing myself and due to fear of abandonment.

I love this question, i've been dying to talk about this so thank you!!!

In my humble opinion, it seems like you are at a point where you have done work on yourself, are trying to improve and have learned how to become more aware of your surroundings. This is actually really great! My take away when I read it is that you are stuck in somewhat of what I like to call a limbo position.

And this is something that I didn't understand myself when I went through a lot of the same pain points you brought up.

Some of the main reasons you may be in this cycle is because, for one, you may be continuing in the same environment or meeting the same people in new bodies. Or you are handling the situations with new people the same way you did before. I think thats the point you were trying to make.

I just want to first say that you are not an intimidating woman. Get that out of your head because it sets a negative thought pattern and will subconsciously keep you in a loop where you are repeating cycles. You are only intimidating to the wrong people. You may be settling for less or selling yourself short in regards to your expectations with yourself or your self worth. I say this with love, obviously. It's probably not even something that you realize cause you really do seem to have amazing attributes. If you didn't, you wouldn't feel the way you do now.

However, I really suggest you stop trying to water yourself down to make others feel comfortable. Because that is really what its coming down to. You cant make a shoe thats a size smaller than you fit. Time to change your shoes because its obvious you have outgrown these environments and have not realized that you are capable of so much more. You are letting the guilt from this make you limit yourself and thats totally not fair for you.

Which leads me to your next paragraph.

The issue here seems to be the lack of emotional control. It is not what you say, but how you say it. And that occurs because we are not fully healed from whatever wounds, or not confident in ourselves. Either or, or both. You should be able to and can get to a place with yourself where you can assert yourself with a calm, straight forward tone and get the message across.

If fear of abandonment is your thing, you may be tying yourself worth to others. Maybe as a child, you experienced neglect, inconsistent care, or emotional disconnection that planted the seeds of your fear of abandonment. So you should maybe start by challenging the negative beliefs that stem from these experiences, such as “I’m not enough” or “People always leave me,” and replace them with affirmations like “I am worthy of love and connection.” Focus on self validation by meeting your own emotional needs, learning to comfort yourself during moments of insecurity. Express your needs and trust that doing so strengthens relationships rather than pushes people away. Change your perspective in the same way i referenced about you being intimidating, to abandonment as a natural part of life’s flow, so you recognize that it doesn’t reflect your worth. Work on your emotional independence by pursuing personal goals, doing activities you love and self love habits. This will help you build more confidence and resilience with interpersonal relationships so that when someone tries you, hurts you etc, you feel confident enough to be like, "yeah, you don't need to be in my life." vs being overwhelmed by emotion out of the fear of losing someone who is not treating you how you should be treated.

Hope this helped.

<3

[askshivanulegacy]

Just gonna clarify that NONE of these social media websites are sources of political information.

ALL that information has a real source, which is a news article somewhere, which 90% of people fail to link anyway because they think a screenshot is news and they don't actually want to provide information.

Social media is not your source for education.

The best that tiktok and the like can provide is a singular first hand account of something, which is certainly valuable, but these are still not authoritative sources.

Book bans do not remove your access to the book. And blocking a legitimate news agency is not remotely the same thing as banning a private, for-profit app.

These things are certainly bad, but do not make the mistake of elevating social media to a status it does not have and does not deserve.

And don't make the mistake of thinking social media is the only source for education or even a good one. It's not either.

Social media is entertainment and it's an echo chamber. It is always your responsibility to get informed by REAL sources of information. If you're worried about your ability to stay informed and all you're using is social media ... yikes, for one. For another, start learning how to Google things again and go find reliable news sources.

They cannot keep you uneducated and social media literally has nothing to do with your education.

What concerns me the most about the tiktok ban is that it’s the US government telling us they can flip a switch and take away sources of information and bring them back, modified to their liking. And they can do it whenever they like. What happens when they target major news sources? The book bans that could very likely go into place? What if they get Tumblr— which I KNOW plenty of us use as a source of political info?

This isn’t just a publicity stunt. It’s the US government directly telling millions of people that yes, they can make sure we remain uneducated. They can keep us blind to whatever the fuck they are doing.

A reminder as said in my previous post, keep your eyes open.

[nhl-stories]

i'm not sure that you want me – Kent Johnson

Summary: Kent's confused. About nothing. About everything. Mostly, he just wants someone to give him the answers.

Author’s Note: Someone sent in a request that just said Kent Johnson. Gender. I didn't really know him before but somehow his weirdly, pretty bug face broke me out of my writing rut. So thanks anon, I feel like i could have explored so much more but had to rein myself in

Word Count: 6.8k

You still live in Columbus right?

Kent gets the text after a particularly grueling rehab session, he’s out to lunch with the boys and a little tempted to order a drink to take off the edge off the day, even if it’s only 11 AM.

A second text buzzes in before he can answer.

I could google but thought I’d get it straight from the source

It had been a while since they texted each other, the last text telling him to get well soon in February. Not that they ever really communicated a ton. It was mostly when either saw something that reminded them of the other.

Like seeing one of Kent’s old teammates at a basement party doing something stupid.

Yeah, trying to come visit?

They hadn’t actually seen each other in person in a year or so. When he went back to school to get his ring, and that was only a brief hello when he had a million other obligations.

Trying to move just got accepted into OSU law school, it would be nice to have a familiar face

Kent doesn’t know how to respond right away. With the injury he feels a little more lost about his future. Not playing the last months of the season makes it harder for him to get traded, and he’s pretty sure the new contract in the works with Columbus will work out. But he really doesn’t know.

Wow congrats, lmk if you need anything I probably won’t be much help though

He doesn’t want to make any promises.

You’re saying my friend who is strong enough to move my furniture and rich enough to get me a nice meal after can’t help? What a ripoff 🙄

Kent can’t help but smile, unfortunately that gives Silly a chance to pounce.

“Who’s got KJ all smiley at his phone?”

The season has been a grind for everyone, not just Kent who’s had to helplessly watch from the sidelines for so long. They take they’re laughter when they can get it, Kent just made himself an easy target.

Adam peers over his shoulder, “You texting yourself? Getting that desperate?”

“It’s a different KJ,” he deadpans while he feels his face warm, “a friend from college.”

“Is this ‘friend,’” Silly obnoxiously uses air quotes, “hot?”

Kent rolls his eyes and throws a balled-up napkin at him. Slips his phone in his pocket to respond to later.

++++

KJ had lived in Columbus for almost five months before meeting up with Kent. In part because of the off season, but they had a hard time locking down plans. First a coffee meetup that fell through, then lunch, then she excitedly suggested they get drinks since they were both actually legal now.

KJ said they would be in the park after work and they could walk to a place. He found her reading on a bench. If he hadn’t followed her location pin, he wouldn’t have been sure it was them.

He had checked her Instagram before he left to see a more recent picture than what he had in his head. They don’t post a lot, even less of pictures of them, mostly books, plants, or friends. The last picture was a blurry picture of people dancing on a table, he couldn’t even pick out KJ if he tried.

Her hair was much longer than the last time he saw them, it had been shorter than his and dyed a blue that was so dark it was almost black. Now, it was mostly a light purple, except the blonde roots. Kent wasn’t sure if she was a natural blonde. Can’t recall what shade her shaved head was when they first met.

That was when their Women, Gender, and Sexuality professor paired ‘Katrina Johnson’ and ‘Kent Johnson’ for the first project of the year and as she slid into the chair next to him, said ‘you better not be one of those dumb jocks who drops this class before we finish the project.’ Kent didn’t even try to joke about how he took this class because he heard it was easy and could tell his teammates he had to leave to study women.

And that’s how boy KJ met girl KJ, which they would amend months later: ‘I’m really more of the girl-ish KJ, emphasis on -ish.’

KJ doesn’t notice him walking up so he takes a seat beside her before saying anything.

She jumps a little before a smile breaks through, “holy shit I forgot how low your voice is.”

KJ shoves the book into their backpack, the same beat up maroon JanSport he remembers from college. She reaches over and Kent thinks she’s going in for a hug, but stops turning when they touch the ends of his hair.

“And your hair is so short! People won’t confuse us for a cute lesbian couple anymore,” she faux pouts.

Kent rolls his eyes but can feel the upward quirk of his lip, “Shut up.”

“What? I liked when my friends would ask me about the cute, butch girl they saw me walking around campus with. It was good for my rep.”

Their smile doesn’t wane, “I’m glad we could finally meet up.”

Then she moves in for the hug, it’s a bit of an awkward angle while they’re still sitting. But they squeezes him tight, makes him think about the last time someone really hugged him. Probably his mom, before he flew back to Columbus.

They walk to a bar nearby, KJ asks Kent about his summer, training camp, how his shoulder feels.  When they get to the bar, they both get carded; she elbows him excitedly like they’re getting away

He finds out they’re deferring law school for a year, hoping to get some more savings for food and rent before getting more student debt. Currently she’s part-time clerking at the ACLU and some other law firm that pays better but they seem iffy about the work they do. Then volunteering at a queer community center closer to her apartment and campus.

Kent worried that once they caught up on life basics it would be awkward, they got along pretty well at school, but they didn’t actually have that much in common.

Before meeting KJ, Kent hadn’t even spent a lot of time with women who weren’t interested in him, for hockey or romantically or a combo of both. It had been a nice change of pace when KJ came into his life, but that didn’t mean it would work outside the limbo of college life.

But the awkward moment never comes.

They keep talking until KJ looks at their phone.

“Shit, we’ve been here for like 2 hours. You probably have other things to do.”

“Not really, do you want to get dinner?”

Kent takes them to one of his favorite restaurants, it’s another two hours before they wrap up the evening. Kent’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

KJ gives him directions to her apartment; he pulls up into front of brick building, it’s easy to tell how close they are to the college now. When he turns after putting it in park he sees KJ staring at him, looking up at him while she leans on the console.

“KJ?” They bat their eyelashes.

“Yes, KJ?” His throat feels dry.

“Are you going to invite me to a hockey game?”

He can’t stop the snorting laugh that comes out.

“Um, yeah.”

She raises a brow like she’s expecting more.

“Do you want to come to a hockey game?”

“I’d love to! You probably don’t know your schedule off the top of your head so just tell me when you know some dates.”

“Cool, have good night.”

KJ leans further in for a hug, whispers against his ear, “I’m so happy we get to hang out again.”

They pull away and ruffle his short hair again, then kisses his forehead before he can even process what’s happening. He watches them walk up the drive and disappear through the door.

++++

She told him he was pretty once. Honestly, probably more than once, but the first time is what he really remembers.

Kent doesn’t know why that’s the memory that’s pinging around his head while he’s taping his stick.

Going over to KJ’s to off-campus apartment to work on their assignment, she had answered the door in a silk robe before leading him into the living room and plopping on the floor with notes on the coffee table. She sat cross legged on the couch facing him, flashing her underwear that he would have described as a ‘laundry day’ pair.

KJ started talking about what readings they could cite, like there wasn’t a borderline stranger in her house while she was half naked, like she had never felt self-conscious in her entire life. He had never met a girl like that before.

“I know I don’t look it, but I like sports,” she’s painting her toenails while trying to make a point about how masculinity hurts men too, “how do you think I knew you were a student athlete? You don’t exactly look like typical jock.”

Kent widened his eyes at that, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know,” she grabs his ankle and moves his foot closer to her, he has a hole in the big toe of his sock, she slathers a layer of purple glitter polish on the exposed nail.

She looks up when she’s done, “You’re really pretty for a guy.”

He wasn’t sure how to react, he didn’t get a chance because one of her roommates came in.

“Whoa Cage brought home a boy,” the new girl fist pumped with a wicked grin.

Then she’s crawling into KJ’s space, kissing her on the mouth, slipping a hand under the opening of her robe and groping her chest. KJ smiled into the kiss, Kent felt a vague lecherous swooping in his stomach, he felt a bit like a pervert for not looking away. But really, he wasn’t sure if wanted to be KJ or the roommate.

He shakes the thought out of his head, he has a game to focus on.

The game starts out well enough, despite the time apart, playing Owen is still weird. Maybe extra weird since his head seems to be stuck in Michigan today. But he gets an assist on the first goal, and his head snaps back into focus.

And then as quick as it comes together, it falls apart.

When he falls, he immediately knows something is wrong, a sinking feeling of déjà vu. Surgery, rehab, months away from hockey; it’s a dizzying thought and he forces himself off the ice and down the tunnel before it becomes overwhelming.

The trainers gingerly take him out of his top gear, give him a fairly thorough look over to determine he’s definitely out for the game. He’s poked and prodded while he watches the teams trade goals. The useless feeling from last season starts to rear its ugly head.

The second period ends and so does the exam. He’s not going back in tonight, how long he’ll be out to be determined later. For now, he can take some pain meds and the rest of his gear off.

The guys are in the locker room when he starts to undress, he gets a few pats on the knee, most of the guys try not to give him that ‘sucks you’re injured’ sympathetic smile, but a couple slip through. A knee jerk reaction.

His phone is buzzing incessantly in his locker, like an annoying bug in his ears. Once he’s down in his base layers, he just soaks in being around the guys as they hype each other up for the last push. The sour feeling in his belly makes him worry he won’t get this any time soon.

Once the guys are back on the ice, he pulls out his phone. A text from his mom, some of the Michigan guys all hoping he’s okay.

The last one’s from KJ: That looked nasty, let me know if you’re still up to meet up afterwards, no pressure

He had gotten her a pass that would let her down to the family room, and he doesn’t want the night to be a total bust for her. He gives her directions on how to get downstairs before taking a shower, hoping to wash away some of this awful feeling.

The Blue Jackets win, which feels like a consolation prize for his shitty night. That and he’s given a free pass to skip any media obligations, since his injury is still of an uncertain severity. No one even seems to care that he leaves without changing back into his game day suit.

He turns the corner towards the family room and sees KJ talking to a group of WAGs.  They’re having an animated conversation like they’re all longtime friends. KJ looks up and sees him, quickly saying bye before she comes running over, their high ponytail swinging until they pull up short on Kent.

“I was gonna hug you, but that’s probably a bad idea,” They hold out a fist to bump instead.

“It probably doesn’t mean much since I’m clearly bad luck, but I had a lot of fun.”

“Injuries happen, not your fault. Besides you saw me at school all the time and I never got injured there.”

“Excellent point, we’ll have to do further research when you’re better,” she grins up at and he can’t help but smile back at her.

“Yeah, and you made some friends,” he nods towards the girlfriends who are still talking, maybe shooting subtle glances their way.

“Oh yeah, they just saw me awkwardly standing around and asked who I knew. Said we’re friends from college and as you can see, I’m wearing a pretty gay outfit so they definitely don’t think we’re dating.”

He looks over her outfit and can’t really point out what of the baggy jeans and jacket over a vintage CBJ t-shirt that looks like it’s seen a thousand washes is really gay, but he’s not really the expert. He thinks maybe it’s the Doc Martens before his eyes catch on the pins: A bright rainbow flag and one that says she/they.

He realizes he probably should have just responded, said something like ‘I don’t care if they think we’re dating.’ Which overall, yeah, he doesn’t particularly mind, he’d get equal amounts of chirps for his singleness or if he had a new girlfriend.

“Do you want to get some ice cream?”

“Huh?” He shakes himself out of his head.

“Ice cream? People tend to like to eat it when they’ve had a rough day, and you, KJ, have had a rough day.”

“Yeah, sure.”

KJ directs him not to an ice cream place, but a grocery store. Buying two pints by claiming ‘my treat’ before they end up on his couch. She lets him put on the Kraken game and talk her ear off about Matty and how teams across the league look for the new season.

When he starts to nod off, KJ takes his pint and puts it in the freezer and gives him a kiss on the cheek on the way out. He falls asleep forgetting about the pit in his stomach from earlier.

++++

The injury is deemed day-to-day, but the doctors seem to think it will be about a month before he gets the all clear. The dark pit in his stomach grows a little deeper. Sure, he doesn’t need more surgery or anything. But it doesn’t feel great going down two games into a new season. The season where he was finally going to prove himself in the NHL.

He goes home and eats the rest of the pint ice cream for lunch, because it’s not like he has to play tomorrow or the day after that or even the day after that. The feeling subsides for a bit, but it gnaws away enough that he has to leave his place. Before he knows it, he’s parked in front of KJ’s house.

He hasn’t been inside, just dropped her off. He rings the bell of the middle door he’s seen her enter. There’s an almost eerie silence after the ringing stops, he thinks about pressing the button again but then hears someone coming down the steps.

KJ opens the door in a fuzzy red robe.

“Hey KJ, this is a surprise,” they smile up at him.

“Yeah, I- uh- had a shitty day and wanted to see if you wanted to hang out?”

“I’m just watching TV in bed, if that interests you? My roommate is sleeping before she goes to work so we just have to be quiet.”

Kent takes off his shoes and follows them up the stairs and to the room off the kitchen before he has a chance to really look around. There’s a small TV on top of beat-up trunk at the foot of the bed that KJ hops back onto, getting comfy against the pillows and headboard.

Her room is lit up with pink-ish fairy lights, that kind of hide the clutter around the room. But he can’t stop from staring at strap on hanging on the wall, a graduation tassel hanging off the yellow harness.

They look between Kent and the wall, trying to hold back a laugh.

“It was a graduation gift for the seniors at The Spectrum, for graduating with honors. Like Some Cum Loud, it’s embroidered on the harness.”

She raises an eyebrow waiting for him to finally make eye contact, they can’t tell if his cheeks are actually pink or it’s just the lighting. He finally flicks his eyes toward her.

“That one’s never been used. The one I use is in a box under my bed,” KJ can’t hold back the giggle this time and gets a twisted smile from Kent in return.

They pat the spot next to them on the bed and wait for Kent to unclench a bit and get on the bed. Moving around some pillows trying to get comfortable.

“We’re watching Girls, it’s problematic and a little annoying but also iconically messy,” they press play without any room for discussion or comment.

And the pair drift into a comfortable silence. KJ fans her hair out on the pillows, it’s damp and will probably dry funny. Kent wonders if it’s soft.

An episode ends and new one begins before KJ finally says something.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Kent shrugs, when he speaks his voice croaks more than usual, “not really.”

KJ hums, doesn’t say anything for a moment, then twists her body to face him. The slit at the front of her robe doesn’t move, revealing her pale leg all the way up to her hip and the pink underwear she has underneath.

“Do you want me to paint your fingernails?”

“No.”

“How about your toes?”

Kent scrunches his face, “No, I’m good.”

“I could braid your hair.”

“Do you need an activity?”

“I don’t know, I don’t have boys in my bed that often.”

“And that’s what you think boys in your bed want to do?”

She shimmies he shoulders, “no, I know what boys want in bed…”

Kent feels his face heat up, he didn’t mean to imply anything.

“But this has more slumber party vibes.”

They suddenly sit up onto their knees, and bounces on the bed, she brushes up against Kent’s thigh.

“We can order pizza and gossip about boys… well probably girls in our case.”

“I could go for pizza… not the gossip though.”

KJ adamantly slaps his thigh, “oh come on, you’re a professional athlete you’ve gotta have some fun stories from the road or something.”

He can’t stop the crooked smile in response and KJ knows she’s got him.

“I’ll find a way to crack you open, just you wait KJ,” they raise their brows a few times before grabbing their phone to look at pizza places.

And suddenly this is how most of Kent’s nights unfold. He’s still keyed up from not being able to play, watching from the press box helplessly, desperate to get out and skate. But it seems more manageable when he can pick KJ up from work and out to dinner or for TV in her bed or his couch.

He never really had a distraction outside of hockey before. He had class or studying at Michigan but that mostly meant hanging out with his teammates with books open in the athlete study hall or on rare occasions, the library. He tried to fill his empty injury time last season with reading, but it still felt like work for hockey when it was mostly books about mindset or other athletes.

This is different.

KJ smiles when he casually brings it up, that he likes having someone outside of his hockey bubble.

“Dumb, jock boy learns about work-life balance,” they laugh and goes back chopping vegetables in his kitchen.

He doesn’t bring up that he liked hanging out with her in college in the same way. That they only lived in the same place for about nine months and some of his time with KJ is still his fondest memories.

He liked when she invited him to parties.  Ones that didn’t always blast the same music he heard at the hockey house. Where people asked where he was from or what his major was rather than how was the Olympics or when are you leaving for the NHL. Liked that they talked about things he didn’t know anything about and didn’t make fun of him (much), just told him in a way he could understand.

He’s glad he gets to have this with KJ for the foreseeable future, even if it’ll less frequent when he gets back on the ice.

“Are you going to be playing again next week?” She dumps the vegetables in a frying pan.

“Probably not, I think I’m going to be able to practice maybe, or at least skate.”

“That’s exciting! And I hope maybe you get to play sooner than you think, but if you’re not, do you want to go to a ‘Boob Voyage’ party with me?”

“A what?”

“My friend is getting his top surgery, so we’re throwing him party to say ‘ta ta to his tatas.”

“Clever.”

“It’s not your usual crowd, but it’s basically gonna be a college party at a place with a less sticky floor. And I’ll make sure no one posts anything with you on social media, just thought maybe you could meet some of my friends.”

She says it a little too fast, like they’re nervous. Something Kent’s not sure he’s ever witnessed. He can’t tell if it’s nerves about him saying no or him meeting their friends. KJ has met a couple of his teammates; Adam lives nearby and is coming over for dinner in a few minutes.

“Sure, I’ll go,” and it’s worth the answer just to see her smile.

++++

“Maybe you don’t need to change, you’re dressed like a lesbian,” KJ laughs when Kent opens the door.

“What?”

“I have that exact outfit in my closet,” they laugh pointing mostly at the Birkenstock clogs he’s been wearing since he left the rink.

A retort dries on his tongue when KJ takes off her coat. She’s wearing a white sweater vest with nothing underneath, only the top button holding it together. The loose knit not hiding their dark, rosy nipples underneath.

Thankfully, KJ doesn’t seem to notice the staring.

“Do you mind if I finish my makeup while you get dressed?” She’s holding up her purse, shaking its contents in his face, “But no pressure, you can wear that, you’d fit in pretty well.”

He rolls his eyes and leads them up to his bedroom, a place they haven’t been to except for the brief tour he gave during the first visit.

She walks into the ensuite like she owns the place, leaving the door open and looking at Kent who feels like he’s helplessly staring.

“You can give me a little fashion show if you’re not sure what you’re going to wear, but whatever is probably be fine. James, who’s party it is, is totally basic dude fashion.”

Kent nods and wanders over to his walk-in closet. He tries not to overthink anything while he flips through his hangers.

Once he’s dressed, he leans in the bathroom door until KJ notices.

“Oooh, I like the red, very The Ohio State,” they smile at the bright red button down he’s wearing over a cream shirt.

Kent rolls his eyes and moves to go back to his closet.

“You can’t be mad at me for being an Ohio native. But let me try it again. Go Blue! And you look very Canadian, patriotic.”

“Better,” his mouth twists into a smirk while he looks in the mirror to fix his hair, after wearing a beanie all day.

KJ finishes applying mascara, one eye has swoosh of blue eyeliner and the other pink. Then jumps to sit on the counter, in between the his and hers sinks he doesn’t have a real need for.

“Let me do your make up,” it’s easier for them to bat their eyelashes when they’re thick and sooty like this.

Kent can feel his face contort in a look between confusion and disgust, he doesn’t even need to look up at his reflection.

“Come on, you’ll look so cute! I mean, you’re always cute but even cuter,” she pushes a lock of his hair out of his face, “I’ll keep it simple, just highlight your perfect cheekbones and a little eye makeup.”

She stares him down like she’s not going to beg, but she’s also not going to give up.

“Fine, but only cause you’re making me feel underdressed.”

He lets KJ rearrange him between their open legs, they grab his chin and positions his face the way they want. She gets the intense, focused look on her face when she starts. Her mouth hangs open a bit, their tongue pushing against the gap in their front two teeth.

Kent wants to put his tongue there, too.

He shakes his head like the intrusive thought will fall out, KJ laughs when it causes their brush to go off course. She uses her thumb to try and correct the mistake.

“All done,” they give his cheeks a quick squeeze together and hop off the counter.

She’s still standing in front of him, back pressed all against his front. Looking for approval from his reflection.

He feels kind of pretty.

His cheekbones look somehow sharper and softer at the same time, his eyes brighter than usual with sharp black eyeliner, a sprinkling of glitter at the corner of his eyes.

“Do you like it? I won’t tell anyone if you do,” biting their lip, looking a bit nervous.

Kent can only wordlessly nod, he doesn’t hate it and he’s not quite sure how he feels about that.

“Okay, let’s go.”

They arrive to the party and roar of cheers come with KJ’s arrival. They hold Kent’s hand while they make introductions.

“Let’s play beer pong, loosen you up a bit,” pulls him towards the table, let’s go of his hand for the first time since they arrived.

The beer pong is familiar enough to make him relax a bit. The balls are bright pink and they’re using champagne glasses, when they sink a shot it kind of looks like nipple. He guesses that’s sort of the point.

They win a game and KJ jumps into his arms to celebrate. He feels drunk even though he’s only had maybe one drink.

But then there’s shots and dancing where he can feel the heat radiating off KJ’s body.  

There are more shots and people asking Kent questions he normally would never think about, like how the NHL insurance is.

Another shot and then getting shoved into a rented photobooth with strangers.

He gets another drink and laughs from couch with KJ’s friends, KJ comes and plops half on the arm of the couch, half in his lap. His hand carefully rests on her hip.

“Cage, when you said you were bringing a straight boy, I didn’t think you meant your beard from Mich!” A bleach blonde woman Kent vaguely remembers meeting in college shouts from her chair across from them.

KJ flips her off, while she tells their new friends that they used to call them gay KJ and straight KJ after they learned he was in fact not a butch lesbian.

“I’m expanding our hetero horizons, we’re like one more shared ex-girlfriend from being an incestuous cult,” KJ laughs and slides completely into Kent’s lap

“You’re really enjoy that hetero exploration,” a man whose name Kent forgot catcalls.

“Guys stop! You’re gonna make him think we’re really narrow-minded gays.”

KJ laughs and wraps an arm around Kent’s shoulder, as the conversation ping pongs into another direction.

They stumble out into the street at about 2 AM, Kent thinks it’s the drunkest he’s been since college.

“My place is closer, let’s walk there,” KJ slurs and pulls him in that direction.

They’re arm in arm while they walk towards her place, it reminds Kent of the time KJ came to a hockey party and at the end of the night she begged for him to give her a piggyback ride home because she was so tired.

KJ fumbles with their keys and falls through the door with Kent on top of her when it suddenly opens. They both can’t hold back their laughs.

“Shh, shhhh, we don’t want to wake your roommate,” Kent tries to stop laughing.

“She’s working at the lab this weekend, we’re all good,” they start up the stairs after hanging up their coat.

Kent strips to his boxers and crawls into bed, he’s never gotten under the covers here. Just sat on top of the duvet with KJ like they were two teenagers worried a parent would walk in and assume the worst.

KJ comes back on wobbly legs, her hair piled on top of her head with a claw clip holding it in place, it looks kind of stupid. Their makeup is washed off and they’re wearing glasses that remind him of Owen’s, which is the last thing he wants to be thinking about right now.

Especially when KJ is crawling on top of him.

He’s about to say something when they move to hold his chin in place. Her thumb drifts up to his lower lip, nail pressing against the soft flesh. He sucks in a breath, their thumb drifts into his mouth.

KJ’s gaze is so adoring, he feels paralyzed by all the emotions going through his head.

She then brings a washcloth up to his face and gently wipes away the makeup. Kent hates that he has to close his eyes, like it’s breaking some spell that hasn’t finished casting.

When they pull the washcloth away, they tilt his head side to side, checking their work.

“Perfect,” KJ leans in close.

Kent has to hold his breath, tries to stop himself from being impulsive. Then KJ’s lips are touching his and he knows deep down it’s probably meant to be a quick peck, but he has to try or he’ll regret missing his perfect chance.

He grabs their hips with one hand and gently cups the back of her neck with the other. His grip is loose enough that KJ could break away if she wanted to, but instead they start to kiss back.

The washcloth slaps to ground while KJ moves to use Kent’s shoulder for stability. Their tongues meet in the middle and it all feels that much more intoxicating than any of the alcohol he had tonight.

Now that he knows she’s not pulling away he moves his hand at their neck down her chest. KJ hasn’t changed yet, and it’s easy to flick open the one button and expose their bare chest.  He grabs a handful and she moans into his mouth.

KJ can’t seem to hold themselves up anymore. Pinning Kent’s hand between their bodies. KJ is soft and curvy everywhere Kent is flat and firm, and their bodies seem to mold together.

“I’m sorry, I’m drunk.”

Kent’s suddenly cold and KJ seems to have flung herself across the room.

He doesn’t know what’s the right thing to say, he doesn’t know why KJ is apologizing; he’s the one who started this.

She’s taking off her sweater and pants, changing into their pajamas and all he can do is gawk like a moron, until they turn off the lights.

“I’m drunk too,” he finely says, lamely late into the dark.

“Good night, KJ,” she whispers into the dark.

“Night KJ, I had fun,” he whispers back, a hand reaches across the bed and squeezes his, it might as well be squeezing his heart.

++++

He leaves the next morning before KJ wakes up; a walk of shame for his actions, for the conversation he doesn’t know how to have, for the things he’s not ready to admit.

Then he’s back on the ice for a full-contact practice and there’s not much time to think about it. It doesn’t stop the guilt from stewing deep down in his gut, but it’s easier to ignore when he’s back in the lineup.

Harder to ignore when he gets a series of texts from KJ:

ur game is on at this bar

saw you score 🍻😘

 first game back baby 💖🥵💪

He knows he should probably invite her to a game now, make a peace offering that might make things seem normal. They’ve been texting like everything is normal, KJ sent him some pictures from the party. Maybe KJ is showing him mercy by ignoring what happened, maybe they don’t even remember.

He hearts the texts and talks about plans to celebrate with some of the guys.

They continue to live in ignorance while the guilt and confusion gnaws at his insides.

Then it’s shoved in his face at team’s Thanksgiving dinner. The first thing someone yells at him, “KJ where’s your girlfriend?”

He tries to play it off, making a joke about Fants who he carpooled with, it holds them off for approximately 10 minutes.

Zach’s fiancée, who had all of one conversation with KJ, asks him next, “Why didn’t you bring your girlfriend? Afraid of the full team interrogation?”

He doesn’t even know where to begin. That’s KJ isn’t his girlfriend? That they wouldn’t even be his girlfriend if they were dating? She would be his partner? Some other term he doesn’t even know yet?

“Um, she’s­ – they’re volunteering with some friends.”

“Okay, so not at the introducing to all the friends or spending holidays together phase, I understand,” she winks and walks away and Kent knows she doesn’t understand anything.

He gets a small reprieve with a week-long road trip where he feels so busy, that the plane-bus-hotel-practice-game-sleep repeat has never felt so good. And if he’s acting weird or aloof, no one comments. He takes it all as a win, even if they lose three in a row.

They lose the first game of the homestead; he wakes up to a text from KJ.

The washer in our building broke can I come do laundry?

It’s maybe the most innocuous thing they could have texted. He invites her over that night, offers to order dinner for them.

They come over in a pair of threadbare sweatpants and rainbow block M shirt, dragging a large rolling suitcase, pushing past Kent at the door to go to the laundry closet. They just start dumping things into the washer, pouring in soap, and ignoring Kent who doesn’t even know how to start talking. Even if there might not be anything to talk about.

She slams washer door and punches buttons until it comes to life, finally turning to Kent.

They cut their hair since he lost saw her. It’s almost as short as his hair, a choppy approximation of a mullet. It suits them.

“So, let’s sit down and talk about that kiss,” they come right out and say it, Kent chokes on his breath.

“You brought laundry for an ambush?”

“Our washer really is broken, so it was a good excuse. And I get free laundry done.”

He can’t fault her for that, let’s himself get pushed towards the living room couch to face the music.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts the moment they’re both sitting.

KJ bites their lip, her tooth gap barely peeking out.

“For what?” she says it so timidly, like she’s just as unsure about all of this as Kent.

Which can’t possibly be true, because they always know. They’re always so sure and headstrong. And Kent’s the one who misread everything, pushed himself on her without thinking about what KJ really wants. Only his own selfish desires.

“I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you when you were drunk, I know you don’t— you wouldn’t— I’m not—" he doesn’t know how to fill in that blank.

“You’re not what? My type?” Kent can only shrug, “and why’s that? Cause you’re straight?”

“I don’t know, I’m just confused,” he mumbles, can’t even look up to see what kind of expression KJ is making.

“Well having a crush on me does make you a little less straight,” KJ snickers and it makes him look up.

They’re giving him a sad kind of smile. He doesn’t know how to take it, but he doesn’t feel like he’s about to be reprimanded.

“And that’s what that was right? You have a crush on me?” Kent purses his lips, doesn’t want to make the wrong move.

“Because, I have a little bit of a crush on you too,” she puts a hand on his knee and squeezes, it’s electric.

“But you stopped us, and then apologized.”

“Being drunk isn’t usually a great starting point for big monumental changes between friends and,” she takes a big breath, “and I’ve never actually had sex with um—” they gesture in the general direction of Kent’s crotch.

“What?” Kent cocks his head to the side.

“I mean, I didn’t even know I liked boys until college and by then I was pretty comfortable with the lesbian sex and—"

“Didn’t you have a boyfriend like a year ago?” He remembers seeing something on Instagram.

“He was trans so… it’s not the penetration part cause, trust, I’ve had my fair share of penetration. I’ve given my fair share of penetration,” they ruffle their own hair while they ramble, Kent’s kind of endeared.

“And like the one time I gave a blow job in college I was like super drunk and threw up on his dick… so I went back to the lesbian sex because I’m good at that.”

He can’t hold back the surprised laugh. He’s not used to this squirmy KJ.

“So, the biological equipment is all kind of new to me; it’s soft and then it’s hard and then there’s a mess and—”

“KJ, shut up.”

Kent cups their face so she can focus on him.

“As much as I love you being the uncomfortable one for once, just shut up.”

She stares at him with wide eyes, waiting for his next move.

“Here I was worrying I forced myself on you and questioning my identity, and you’re having an existential crisis about my dick?”

Their eyebrows shoot up to their hairline, “you were questioning your identity?”

“We can circle back to that later,” he leans in to kiss them, before they can say anything else.

The first kiss was nice, but this one is great. There’s certainty behind it that makes Kent feel warm all over. He pushes KJ onto their back, her legs fall open and Kent slots between them.

After what feels like eternity, they come up for air. They tangle their fingers in his hair, keeping him from getting too far away. Her legs tighten around his hips, like she’s testing where the new boundaries might be.

The washer chimes that it’s done.

KJ kisses him once, twice then pushes him off to go to the laundry. His eyes follow her helplessly.

She comes back sans sweatpants, the t-shirt falling just past the tops of the their thighs, and stops at the foot of the stairs.

“I think your bedroom might be a more conducive learning environment,” she gives him a lopsided, shy smile.

He jumps over the back of the couch, scrambling towards them. He grabs their hips and pulls them back into a kiss, but stops before he gets in too deep.

“What if this ruins our friendship?”

“Eh, have other friends,” she has a wicked grin, Kent bites their lip in retaliation.

[booigi-boi]

How my video chat with the Tin Can Bros went 🐐💛

I got to talk to the three of them separately with a special guest (James and Mariah) so I'll put this into three sections (writing this down mostly for my awful memory, gonna be long)

Brian and James

First thing Brian said when the call started was "have you gotten any new tattoos since the last time we saw you?" A: No :(

He and James asked about Finland and what it is like

I was asked something about what is my fav thing about Finland (minus sauna) and I said the nature. I told them to visit northern Finland both during summer and winter cause the nature is fucking amazing, ok? They googled it and James said he's putting it on his list, lol

Brian asked while googling if I've ever been to the Snow Castle in Kemi, and I laughed a little and said I was actually born there so yeah, I've been there multiple times

I was also asked if there's something I'd like the rest of the world to know about Finland

I answered how I hate how other countries have turned saunas into a luxury item, when in Finland literally every house and apartment building has a sauna. Also told them the correct way to pronounce sauna

James asked me how I learned about TCB. Said I discovered SK in mid 2018 and somehow figured TCB was also a thing. He also asked how I got into Shipwrecked, and to that I just said Spies Are Forever. Brian nodded and said "they're cool"

(Honestly, I'm leaving so much out cause we really just talked about my country and how happy it is, lol)

Corey and Mariah

Brian and James left for another call once Corey and Mariah joined (I didn't expect them to do this call like this tbh /neutral)

Mariah was excited about the fact I'm Finnish, she was enjoying meeting people all over the world

Corey asked if I had any questions for them and I had to admit I suck at asking questions and never know what to say (he was cool with my child brain)

Mariah said she had so many questions she would have liked to ask me. She really liked looking at the wall behind me and seeing all the shit I have on there

Then my cat decided she wanted attention and hopped on the table and made herself known to them. Told them she was Lotta and she's 14

After a while Corey asked me what my fav project from the Tinlightenment was, and I said I've been most excited for Gross Prophets. Corey revealed it's going to be difficult to rehears it without an audience and it's apparently super silly (in a good way)

Before they left Mariah asked me what was my fav movie or musical or anything so she could get to know what I'm all about, so I excitedly told her about Tetsuo the Iron Man (more about this later)

Then Joey joined all alone and it was time for Corey and Mariah to leave

Joey

Joey didn't have a guest with him so it was just me and him on a call together. He complimented my long ass vampire nails

He heard us talking about movies and asked me about it, so I said how Mariah asked me about my fav movie

He got a little excited and asked me about it, so I told him about Tetsuo, and how it's one of those movies that you're either going to love cause how artistic it is, or say wtf did I just watch

He got intrigued and googled it and read its description. He was interested (pls google it)

He read reviews and said how it's either 5 stars or 1 star, and I told him it is very 50/50

He put it on his list and promised to tell me once he had watched it :3 (hopefully not on discord cause I don't use it, lol)

Then before time was up, he asked me about my hospital stay last year (which I didn't talk about publicly and he was one of the few people that knew about it). It was kinda nice of him to ask about it and ask if I was good now (I am)

One last thing he asked about before he had to leave was if I was going to the new Starkid concert this year, and I said no, unfortunately. Maybe he was little saddened about it, but he told me last year wasn't that long ago and we might see each other again at some point

Then he wished me a good rest of the day and told me we'd see each other soon (next month when I again embarrass myself in Quiplash)

One last note, but I was kinda surprised how Joey didn't apologise to me for the 100th time for something he promised me back in 2023 and still hasn't done it, especially since he seems to apologise about it any time we have an interaction, lol (but I'll talk about it more when that happens, shhh)

Sorry if it was all so long, but I did leave out stuff too, sksks. Honestly, I kinda needed this, it was nice talking to people and they're all so easy to talk to 💞 James and Mariah were a nice surprise, can't wait for Gross Prophets 👉👈

[cozymochi]

bro apologies for not enjoying Emilio as much as Celil or Nyoka

and I want Tia not to be so underrated☹️☹️ our green queen💚

To be fair — It’s on me that Tia isn’t willingly brought up much. Offline and when reading twst (or if I encounter writings where the protagonist isn’t specified) She’s like, my main go-to person I default to and will base voice-line interpretations around when I’m not trying to be dead serious. Gives me brainrot and makes me kick my little feetsies.

However, if I’m being totally honest, in public fandom spaces she’s kinda… a dime a dozen. She’s just another MC or “Yu” stand-in, and that in itself especially to those who don’t really think about it that much, she doesn’t exactly stick out as anything particularly special or unique. At least, not in the grand scheme knowing that Tia is just one of hundreds of thousands of interpretations of a Ramshackle Prefects. And that’s not even getting into the inspiring her off a disney princess thing which also isn’t exactly a new concept for some prefects either.

I don’t really go out of my way to be special or unique nor is it something I’m too concerned by, I just do what I would be interested in.

Tia in execution might be different to me, but mind I know everything about her that isn’t posted. How she interacts with that world is a slight departure from what’s lined up in the #canon events (not in any extreme way), but outside of myself and the friend who was there since the start, nobody would really know that since I don’t talk about any of it. 🤡🫡 I don’t know if anyone’s noticed, but I’m not one to bring these things up without prompting first. And in the opportune chances I get to do so, I tend to sit on it for months or laugh it off cuz I don’t know how to articulate it properly in an interesting enough way. It’s not that I don’t have answers, I do, but I psyche myself out.

I mean, there’s a reason why her actual solo lore and information doesn’t even reach a tenth of a fraction of what the usual trio of NRC boys gets. It’s probably easier for a person passing by to briefly wrap their head around the idea of a new student rather than yet another version of an MC that-- due to the nature of the original game being soooo vague and almost entirely a spectator despite being called the “main character”— just isn’t all that eye catching or worth people’s time, I don’t think.

She might have a different pre-twst life, different way of handling Ramshackle, Tia-specific issues, and relationships with the main cast and how she perceives the events going on around her, and might be slightly more active compared to #canon (this being the “outline” in the game), and have different overall priorities when acclimating to TWST so long as she’s stuck there that are all influenced by the aforementioned— but all of that ultimately doesn’t matter. I don’t talk about it, and when there’s already a ton of different versions of the MC out there in official and unofficial media, it’s like! Why bother! It doesn’t do anything for anyone else to know these things.

So I just don’t talk about her. At least, not in any intimate character way. And even when I could use her in place of the Prefect in more generic scenarios, I opt not to most of the time, because again, I do not think people in general care about the concept of the MC that much. Not helped by the game at all, but what can you do when you want to leave room for interpretation on a wider scale? It’s for function and projection, even if it kinda leaves this awkward hole if the viewer doesn’t go out of their way to characterize the MC themselves.

Unless Grim looks at the camera and demands that MC make a sandwich for them it’s easy to forget that they’re even there, and if one thinks about it for 2 seconds it can really feel contrived that this random person who adds nothing is witnessing certain events. (Book 7 is more egregious about this, but I will not go into it.) If my brain switches MC to Tia then all of a sudden this issue leaves. You know what I mean? Idk.

Wider interest only seems to briefly shoot up when placed under the context of a ship situation, which, despite what others do, say, and how I sometimes play along, Tia doesn’t actually have one. (Not a “””canon”” one, anyhow.) So, she doesn’t have that going for her either.

She’s just some random girl who kinda acts like the character she’s directly inspired from- if from the 2020s instead of 1920s. Starting from that basis people can get an idea of how she acts if they’ve seen the movie, but it’s not always 1:1. If not, then because I don’t talk about her with any effort, people don’t have much to draw from except from generic Shrimpy. Not a great start. She can stand on her own without either, it’s just me not trying nor going out of my way to convey what I’ve been invested in this entire time.

But, yeah. She’s my baby gorl and will always be MY default and main point of interest when I’m personally reading TWST, but she has a lot going against her in terms of general appeal. It’s not even really her fault execution-wise it’s just. Y’know. Yeah. It’s on me. I don’t talk about her up here and don’t exactly have the nerve to do so on my own accord without asking myself what the point of doing so is.

So in a way, as a result she’s not underrated at all. Just exactly where a twst “main character” is expected to be. An afterthought.

[graysongoal]

I appreciate you trying but tbh that still doesn't make sense to me.

Maybe it's because I've much more often encountered people who actually underestimate & downplay both the positive and negative effects they have on other people. If someone speaks up, these are the same people who also refuse to deal with their own bullshit, do not want to grow, etc. I think we can all agree that those folks are insufferable to be around and I know I'd rather not be around people who cause harm without giving a shit about it.

Or maybe it's because none of the continuous improvement stuff I mentioned is related to lovability or worth as a person? And there doesn't have to be a moral judgment between people to help each other grow. We can go through self-improvement work (not new years resolutions or toxic BS but real self-improvement work) and mutual / communal improvement work together because we all should want to be better people - to have our communities be more comfortable and accessible and welcoming for everyone - and not because of a moral high ground or anything like that.

And here's the thing - we have been doing this for ages and not just across social media but with each other and in our communities. Perhaps other people don't see that educating each other or helping each other unlearn harmful ideologies, understanding what's happening in the world, or helping someone learn something that was previously a covered spot or place of ignorance for them is exactly this work.

I mean, this can be as simple as "Hey, next time I mention [ex], remind me why I shouldn't talk to them." or "My therapist said I should do [XYZ]." and having a friend follow through with helping on either of those things.

This isn't yelling at people and telling them they're wrong without kindness or not sharing additional information. I'm talking about real growth, complete with support and guidance (if desired).

IDK, honestly, like I said, this whole thing feels like it leans heavily neurotypical to me.